This past few days / weeks I've just not really felt like I'm enjoying my running. I can't put my finger on it.
I've been ill, which hasn't helped, I'm not good at being unwell. Thankfully it doesn't happen that often.
Today, I feel pretty good. I've got rid of my cold and my ears have unblocked but mentally I feel really flat. I can't face picking up my running kit to put it on. I can't face heading out the door to run. Whether it's an easy plod or a good old fashioned speed sessions. I just can't face it.
I've a race this weekend which I will do. It's a trail race and I have zero expectations from it. I love trail, I love running offroad. I just don't love my running just now.
What has caused this? I have no idea. Is it a solid winter of training for the Ultra has left me burnt out? Is it that I'm struggling to hit paces I once used to find "easy" and so I think, what's the point? Is it that I'm just bored of running the same streets around where I live? Is it all or none of these. I wish I knew.
Running is my stress relief. I don't feel stressed. I just feel meh.
I spoke to Mandy and coach Robert and said, I just want to go to bed and hide. I think I might still do that, but I wanted to get a blog written to show that it's not always sunshine and rainbows in my head. Hard to believe, I know!
In this day and age of social media, it's sometimes easy to forget that a smiling picture on Instagram can be hiding the truth.
I always try and be as honest as I can be and this blog is one of those examples.
Be kind to yourself and accept that some days, going for a run isn't the answer.